


Papyrus Got the Big Sad

by Dumbassv2



Series: Undertale + AUS [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Nightmares, M/M, Nightmares, Papyrus (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Papyrus (Undertale)-centric, Papyrus Angst, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Sad Papyrus, Sad Papyrus (Undertale), Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Self Harm, Spoilers - Undertale Pacifist Route, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:06:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19812904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumbassv2/pseuds/Dumbassv2
Summary: Posted this on wattpad first so it won't have the best formatting :pAlso, be sure to read the start of the tags at least before reading this for trigger warnings if you have any.





	1. Wake the fucc up

_My body... It just... disappeared in front of me. I can't feel anything. All I can feel is pain. My neck hurts... My head hurts. I just wish the human could spare me. Spare me from this suffering. They could've just slashed me or something. Why did I have to be special. I can't even hear the words I'm saying. Well, I can since you can never not hear your voice, but you get what I mean._

_Goodbye, Sans._

Papyrus gasped as he woke up. Tears started rolling down his cheekbones, had that really happened? The human was so nice last time. Everyone had befriended each other. It was beautiful, really. The human couldn't save us, but... They were so kind. They loved each and every one of us.

Now he didn't know what to think. Did the human love monsters or hate them? Did they ever really care about them? Is this their own little experiment? Have they done something like this once before? Have they hurt monsters so badly like this before? Hell, not even monsters. Humans, animals, did they do this to them too? 

Is that why they went to the underground? To experiment with new subjects? Did the surface not have enough poor souls to torture? Is that it? You got bored. You got bored of testing the same types of people over and over again. So you came here to toy with new types. An experience you couldn't experience anywhere else. 

Why? Because all of us gain trust too quickly. We all trust the other monsters. We all trust our friends. We all trust our ability to fight. To protect ourselves from danger. But that's only because our version of danger was much less extreme than genocide. We never felt the pain the human caused us.

The pain... it was so sudden and new. A new force, even. We didn't like it because we didn't know what it was. Now that I think back on it... it felt amazing. The tingling in my head. The harsh pull and forceful push battling each other at my neck. I want to feel it again. I want to feel that new "pain" again.

The human will reset in time anyways, right? It wouldn't do that much harm if I were to just... Do it one more time?

.

.

.

Yeah, Sans won't remember it anyway.

Papyrus got out of his bed with tears still in his eyes. He looked at the clock that has always been in Papyrus' room aha, and it was only 1am. That should mean Sans is in super deep sleep right now, so there's no risk of him waking up. 

He rushed downstairs and into the kitchen. He opened and closed drawers, trying to find a knife. He looked up and realized there were 7 right in front of him. He grabbed one, but wasn't sure if it had the sharpness he wanted. He picked 5 knives and laid them out on a kitchen counter. 

He grabbed one and placed it carefully on his arm after rolling up his sleeves. He sliced his arm excitedly. He was soon disappointed when all that came out was a small line. He sliced more on that same spot, trying to get a better outcome. A bit of dust came off the knife, making Papyrus smile a bit.

This smile was... a bit different than his usual smile, but he was happy nonetheless. He grabbed another knife and looked closely at it's edge. This one had more sharp bumps than the last. He expected more of this knife, but got nothing out of it. His 'cut' was even smaller than the last. Unsatisfied, Papyrus picked up another knife.

This knife was more diverse, with those spikey bits at the start, and flatter parts in the middle. It was spread out with a nice mix of spikey and less-spikey. Like the last two, he sliced about 6 or 7 times on the same spot. Well, almost the same spot. He can't slice on the same exact spot each time, but it was pretty close. He actually liked how it looked. 

He set down the knife in a different area than the other 4, and picked up another knife. This one's blade was a bit more on the bumpy side. Papyrus didn't expect much from it and didn't get much from it either. The cut was larger but not deeper. Infact, the only reason it was larger was because Papyrus sliced in (mostly) different spots of his arm. 

He put the knife down with the pile of 3 and picked up the last knife. It looked much like the first knife and had mostly flater spikes. The knife worked much better than the first, but it still wasn't the best. It had a nice tingly and validating feeling to it. He put down the knife and picked up the third knife he used. 

He had high hopes for this knife. He held it in front of his neck. The skeleton's hands were shaking and he didn't know why. Was this his body's way of telling him "hey no stop u idiot" or is he just being a coward? He's probably just being a coward. Hurry up, Papyrus. Stop delaying it and get on with it. 

Are you scared, Papyrus? Why? Why would you be scared? You already went through much, much worse. No one will even remember that you died. The human will just reset! So hurry up and stop waiting for someone to 'save' you. You don't need saving, you're not leaving forever. You're not leaving Sans, you're just taking a break. Yeah.

He held the knife right up to his neck. He was ready. After stalling so much, he was finally ready. Alright, Papyrus.

3

2

_shwwiing_

"pap...? what are you-" Papyrus dropped the knife onto the counter and turned to Sans. "OH! HELLO, BROTHER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?" "i had a bad dream, but-" Papyrus interrupted before Sans could continue, "AH, THAT'S TOO BAD, BROTHER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT?" 

"no, actually. i just came for ketchup, but what were you doing?" Papyrus noticed his sleeve was still up and rolled it back down while talking, "I WAS... PREPARING BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI!-" "pap-" I WOKE UP EARLIER THAN USUAL AND IT TAKES TIME FOR ME TO GO BACK TO SLEEP. SO I-I CHOSE THE NEXT BEST OPTION!" 

"bro c'mon-" "BUT I ONLY JUST STARTED AND I WAS CHOOSING WHICH KNIFE WAS THE BEST TOO..." "pap tell the trut-" "CUT TOMATOES! I COULDN'T BASH TOMATOES SINCE THAT COULD WAKE YOU UP." Papyrus had the fakest smile he had on right now. Sans sighed.

"pap we both know why you were really here." 

"...t-TOO MAKE SPAGHETTI?" 

"bro, please, talk to me here. i want to help you." Papyrus sighed, "YOU CAN'T REALLY HELP ME. YOU'LL... LET'S JUST SAY YOU WON'T REMEMBER THIS." Sans' head perked up, "wait- i think i won't. but i might just be thinking of this differently than you." "W-WHAT? DO YOU REMEMBER? THE RESETS?"

"oh my god."


	2. time   sk i  i i i i ii i p

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been some time since the last chapter. Everyone's on the surface right now, and the ships are st a r t i n g

It's been a few years since the last genocide route. Everyone was happy on the surface. Well, not everyone. Not everyone was being treated the best or had a good day. Not everyone had a home. Not everyone was loved. But we're not focussing on those people right now, are we? No, we're not. We're focussing on Papyrus, a seemingly happy skeleton.

He hummed along to radio music and checked Instagram. Turns out he had received a message from Alphys.

**-Papyrus wanna go 2 my place? Undyne and Mettaton are gonna come 2**

**OK! SURE THING, WHEN DO I COME OVER?-**

**-Now's fine (if ur free :p)**

**ALRIGHTY! I'LL TELL SANS AND BE RIGHT OVER! :D-**

_read_

"SANS! I'LL BE AT ALPHYS' PLACE!" Papyrus called out his room door. "ok see you later pap." Sans answered from the living room. Papyrus rushed down the stairs and headed out the door. The human world was sort of weird. The ground wasn't always the same. A few months earlier, there was a lot of snow, and now it just has a lot of grass covering it. Papyrus doesn't think he'll ever understand this weird world.

Alphys' place was much closer now that they lived in the same neighbourhood. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of Alphys' door. He rung the doorbell, waiting for an answer. He heard a few thuds from the other side before the door was opened. A familiar robot answered the door, "Why, hello darling. Are you Papyrus?" Papyrus nodded, "WHY, YES, I AM!"

He chuckled, "WOWIE! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER MEET YOU IN PERSON, METTATON." "Well, some dreams _can_ come true." Papyrus seemed a bit uncomfortable after that statement but laughed a bit with Mettaton. The robot noticed but didn't mention it. "Well come inside, Papyrus. Those love birds are waiting!~" "O-OH! RIGHT, AHA." 

Papyrus stepped inside and saw Alphys and Undyne cuddling on the couch. "WELL, THAT WAS QUICK." Alphys got off the couch to greet Papyrus, "O-Oh! Hey, P-Papyrus!" Undyne smiled, "Hey, Papyrus! Long time no see." Papyrus waved, "HEY YOU TWO! GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE FINALLY TOGETHER." Alphys visibly blushed while Undyne laughed. 

"Which movies should we watch?" Mettaton asked, "Grim Love, Moorbidet, or Pup's Life?"

"Moorbidet" Alphy's and Undyne both answered. "GRIM LOVE?" Papyrus answered almost right after them. The other three looked a bit surprised. "WHAT?" "Oh, it's just we didn't expect _you_ to choose a horror movie," Undyne responded. "OH! WELL, THIS SKELETON'S CHANGED TOO, YOU KNOW. NYEH HEH HEH!" "Heh, yeah, you sure have. Hope you didn't change too much, though. You still remember how to make spaghetti?"

"YOU BET I DO!" "O-Oh! J-Just please d-don't make it right n-now! We're st-starting the movie n-now." "OH, RIGHT!" Everyone took a seat in the couch in front of them. 

Time passed, and they were at the almost-end of the movie. Alphys and Undyne were already asleep and cuddling while also taking up most of the couch. This left Papyrus and Mettaton more squished together, but they didn't mind. Especially Mettaton, since he got the best view of them cuddling. 

When the movie ended, Papyrus yawned, "DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE OR SLEEP?" "I think we can sleep now," Papyrus nodded, dozing off. 

_I want to be noticed. I want to be loved. I want to be treated better. But I think that's too big of a dream. After all, who would ever love me? I'm a narcissistic and childish skeleton. I don't deserve anything. I always let the human do whatever they want. I never stop them or even put up a fight. I'm useless. I'm unlovable._

_I just want to stop doing this._

_"A r e y o u s u r e ? " Who was that? What was that? Hello? Show yourself. Who are you?_

_A faceless creature appears before me. They seem... familiar. Are they a lost soul? I take a step closer to them. I want them to be... my friend. "O h , P a p y r u s . Y o u s t i l l h a v e n ' t c h a n g e d." What? Do I know you? " O n c e . M a y b e y o u s t i l l c a n r e m e m b e r m e s o m e h o w." The figure stepped closer. It's arms spread out, "G i v e y o u r o l d m a n a h u g ."_

_That line... Oh no. No no no, it can't be you. You can't even- how can you exist? You fell into the core! I- I don't understand. What's going on? This is supposed to be impossible, right?_

_" E n o u g h c h i t c h a t ."_

_Black goo surrounded me and held me up. It's squeezing harder and harder on my ribs, I can't handle this! Stop! Please! He gave no mercy. I feel like my ribs will shatter any second now. This feels suffocating. Please don't hurt me-_

_I let out a blood-curdling scream. My ribs... they- I can't feel my ribs! It hurts! Why did you do this to me? I thought you were done torturing me. " R e l a x , t h i s i s n ' t e v e n r e a l ."_

_What?_

Papyrus woke up in a cold sweat. He's breathing too hard, he could wake someone up. Calm down, Papyrus. Don't let anyone catch you like this. He tried to breath slower, but he just couldn't. Tears starting rolling down his skull. He tried to calm down again and wipe away his tears, but the skeleton just choked on his sobs, making him even louder. Stop it, Papyrus. You'll wake someone up.

"Ngh..." Oh God, Mettaton's waking up. Quick, Papyrus just shut up. He tried wiping away his tears again but they just kept flowing. "...Papyrus?" Mettaton said while his eyes grew wider, "Are you alright? What happened?" He said with visible concern. "I- UM, IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM. DON'T WORRY ABOUT M-ME, HEH." Papyrus said, trying (and failing) to smile. "Do... Do you want to talk about it?" Papyrus shook his head in response. His tears were slowly stopping.

"How about a hug?" Papyrus nodded, "Y-YES, PLEASE." He said as he wiped away his last tear for the night. Mettaton wrapped his arms around Papyrus, who returned the gesture. Papyrus' breathe slowed down. Mettaton was... oddly comforting. His metal was so smooth and comfy. His soft hair was barely touching Papyrus' head. Papyrus could just... fall asleep... right... now...

He rested on Mettaton, who was quite sleepy himself. Bones were much fuzzier than the robot once thought they were. This felt sweet and cozy. The two fell asleep, sort of leaning on the sleeping couple next to them. 

And for the first time in years...

Papyrus slept peacefully.


	3. what's left of chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok so uh h h im redoing the fic because it's too fanon for my liking r n -   
> So here's what I started to write for this chapter  
> and my next (and last) chapter will be telling you guys where the new fic will be

Undyne and Alphys woke up hastily. "O-Oh! I guess t-this turned into a s-sleepover, heh." Undyne chuckled, "Yeah, I guess so." The two turned their heads and it turns out Papyrus and Mettaton were still asleep. And hugging.

"Holy shit, Alphys I'm dying." Undyne was laughing her ass off while Alphys was just getting her camera out. "Blackmail?" Undyne nodded, "Blackmail." The two giggled while looking at the cuddling (Soon to be) gays. "I'm pretty hungry, actually. What did we eat last night?" Alphys put her hand on her chin, "U-Uh, popcorn a-and... p-popcorn." "Well then, let's make some dinfeast!" 

"D-Dinfeast?" "Breakfast and dinner mixed together!" "O-oh."

And so, the fish lady and the lizard girl left the two unconscious boys alone. After a few minutes, the two starting waking up. "Mmn." Mettaton woke up, but didn't really open his eyes. He just tried to continue sleeping, forgetting what happened last night. Papyrus opened his eyes a bit, but closed them almost right away. He wasn't exactly "Papyrus" Papyrus yet. He wanted to stay like this since it was so comfortable.

Huh, that's weird. How can a couch be this comfy? And smooth? He opened his eyes again and actually saw clearly this time. He was a bit surprised, but he didn't want to wake Mettaton up. He kept his eyes half-opened. You'd have to stare into his eye sockets to tell they were opened. Mettaton also opened his eyes a bit, but Papyrus didn't really notice.

The robot was still not quite fully conscious yet. All he recognized was a mouth (a slightly kissable mouth) and a figure hugging him. He didn't question it yet. He pulled Papyrus a bit closer. Papyrus noticed but thought it was just some sleeping thing. They both sort of just looked at each other's "lips" but they opened their eyes fully before anything happened.

Once they realized what was happening, they both quickly pulled away. "OH, GOOD MORNING, METTATON! AHEM." "Oh yes, uh, morning. I'm going to go to the- the kitchen! Yes, kitchen time." Their eyes were darting around the room, trying not to make eye contact. "OH, YES. FOOD. I LIKE FOOD. I'LL JOIN YOU. TO EAT... FOOD." They both nodded and got up.

Papyrus just followed Mettaton since he didn't know where the kitchen was in this house. You see, this house was more of a mansion. Most monsters had mansions by now. It turned out G was really valuable on the surface. Since most monsters had about 115 G, most of them were super-rich. They had all had enough money to keep them going through for a few more years.

The two walked into the kitchen and saw Undyne punching spaghetti...? "Uh... Undyne?" There were red marks on the walls (from tomatoes) and a few bits of the table almost hit Papyrus and Mettaton. "Oh! Hey, you punks! You two took a while to get up." Undyne half-yelled-half-said with a smirk. "AH," Papyrus rubbed the back of his neck a bit, "YES, I GUESS WE MUST'VE FALLEN ASLEEP LATE THEN."

Undyne chuckled, "Mkay..."

_**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-** _

Alphys pressed one of the microwave's button before opening the microwave. Undyne, uncovering her ears, asked Alphys, "Surface heating-fridges are way too loud. Why can't we just use the heating-fridges you made, Alph?" Alphys took the microwaved ramen out of the microwave. "I-It's called a m-microwave. Also I-I can't r-really m-make another one on t-the surface."

Undyne groaned, "Fine, whatever. Let's just have some naked spaghetti." "WHAT?" "I think she means the noodles, darling." "OH, OKAY."

"O-Oh! I d-didn't microwave enough r-ramen f-for all four of u-us. I o-only have e-enough for t-two." Alphys and Undyne glanced at each other for a second. Undyne nodded along with Alphys, "Alright, Alph and I will share the first serving thing. 'Dunno about you two, though." Mettaton glanced at Papyrus, who didn't glance back. "Well, I don't really need to eat, since I'm a robot and all that. You can eat it, Papyrus."

"OH, NO, NO. IT'S FINE. I ALREADY ATE TOO MUCH YESTERDAY." "...You literally only had popcorn." "STILL! I HAD TOO MUCH FOOD YESTERDAY. I'LL JUST- UH- HEAD BACK HOME." Papyrus turned towards the exit of the kitchen before Undyne interrupted his attempt to leave, "Yeah, no. Pap, you gotta eat." Papyrus averted her gaze, "DO I _HAVE_ TOO?" 

"Yes."

And so, Papyrus was eating naked spaghetti with a lizard thing, an aggressive fish lady, and a hot fake robot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the 1st 437 words are from a competition thing called a Sprint  
> It's basically a timed race to see who can write the most in a certain time. (I had no idea it existed before)  
> The time was 15 minutes and jesus that was a long 15 minutes


	4. ok so here's where the new thing's at

for those who didn't read the end notes for the last chapter, I said I'd be redoing this fic because it felt too fanon for me. [So, here's the fic!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523350/chapters/48710951)

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa sorry for such a short chapter!! My next chapter should be made on ao3 instead because I just write less on wattpad.


End file.
